Yes, you are reading the bold section of this picture correctly... someone, a gentleman, I must presume, due to the predicament he has found himself in, was introduced to MY blog as a saving grace! I hope he found the guidance he was looking for, although, I doubt it very much. Although this cry for help probably went unanswered, it has inspired me to be a more well rounded writer, observer, and researcher. I want to be the type of person that does assist an individual when his or her sexts are sent to the wrong person (say an innocent mother of a friend, just for example), homemade tape of some hanky panky fun and Power Ranger re-runs ends up online, or alas, dick pics are discovered by a terrified mom, dad, sibling, or dog.
I imagine the way that I am feeling now is the exact emotion Mother Teresa, or Gandhi felt, at the beginning of their spiritual journey. So long I have begged for a purpose in life, and here it is: A sexual mentor for the unfortunate. Many of my research will need to be secondhand, mostly because the "sexiest" picture I have ever sent anyone was a Snapchat of me eating a Popsicle, and a sex tape, well, yeah, that's never going to happen, BUT, this is my pledge - All of my research intentions will be pursued in a professional manner that is more helpful than degrading.
Suggestions, desperate pleas for help, and donations can be sent to my office:
The Summit
200 Shiloh St
Pittsburgh, PA 15211
Please, no texts - The Summit is having a problem with some delinquent sending group texts to Jenga block victims. These texts have been known to contain terrifying pictures of an unidentified creature.
Said wild delinquent may or may not be me, but the creature definitely is not.
Okay, it was me, and I am actually not welcome at The Summit anymore, so do not send me mail there, instead Facebook me if your schlong has gone viral.
Bai,
Katye $$
No comments:
Post a Comment