New Year, New Me. Lolz.

I love the start of a new year.  There are so many expectations, hopes, and wants for a better future.  It is the one time a year that I actually feel like the list I make of ways I could be a better person are realistic.  So since 2014 is my 25th year of being single, the pressure is on for change!  Here are my resolutions for the new year and their correlating concerns and elaborations.

1. Lose weight. Ah, this one. I know it's cliche but I truly believe this is my year! The force is strong with 2014, blah, blah, blah. I just need to remind myself that instead of an empty pizza box sitting on the other side of my bed, it could be an empty man ♥. I also need to convince myself that there is a chance my boobs will still be ON POINT minus the several tens of pounds. Shout out to nachos, Chinese takeout, and beer for the girls' current perfect plumpness.

2. Pay off my credit card debt. This one is very doable as I am NOT drowning in my personal debt, but it will demand an aggressive approach and a mindful consciousness. After all, my credit needs to be as close to perfect as possible, otherwise how am I supposed to buy a house, car, or an international baby?

3. Read 25 novels. I wanted to make it 50 novels but I'm trying to be a realist this year. I hope 25 is not too ambitious, after all I was an English literature major...

4. Buzzed driving is drunk driving. Learn it, live it, love it. Everyone.

5. Go to the movies more often. I love going to the movie theater, it's my happy place.  Of recently I've become a big fan of going alone, so there is no excuse to not go as often as possible and see everything I'm interested in seeing, regardless of anyone else's cinematical taste. I hope to be the most relevant movie critic of 2014, within my circle of five friends, anyway.

6. Travel as often as possible. Location -anywhere.  Companion(s) - anyone... But preferably the Doctor.

7. Get a tattoo.  Ideally this ink will be of something that I truly care about. I've started designing a list of things I'm passionate about and that will most likely inspire my skin tag: Harry Potter, travel (maps), great white sharks, Pinot Grigio, lighthouses,  Starry Night, box wine, nachos, 37, 42, or NSYNC.

8. Finish writing my book, Sorry for Sexting Your Mom. A collection of actual sexual encounters that could have been if the world was fair.


Best of luck to you and all of your shortcomings! I'll personally be happy just to accomplish one of these items and consider it a good year!

Tits and Kits: A Love Story.

 

Is there anything more beautiful than a relationship between a woman and a cat?  The answer is no.  The love between the two is so pure, so unadulterated - no other man, woman, child, can compare.  Now of course, as it has been established, I am writing this as a single woman with no children SO my opinion may be slightly skewed.  What's odd about my skewed perception is the fact that I don't have a cat, either.  I just infinitely admire their lifestyles and loyalty.  Their passions are simple and beautiful, and I have said many times, and will say a million more before I die alone, I want to be a house cat in my next life.  My days will be spent lying in the sunlight reflected through the windows of my owners house.  I will single-handedly be responsible for making a lonely spinster's life better.  

Following suit of our earlier generations and the stereotype set forth by Homeward Bound, men don't seem to understand this love affair.  Is there anything more attractive than a man with a dog, who he loves more whole-heartly than he could ever love me?  No, but we are not talking about being attractive.  Men have made the relationship between cats and the woman who love them a social stigma.  This is my pledge to always have a cat first, and hopefully a boyfriend, man-friend, dare I say... husband, second.  A cat will never leave you for some slut with a rocking bod - they just don't care about that sort of thing.

xoxo, 

Katye Kat